Bob B Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It is bit unsettling how these ads on FB target you. Saw one today that said something like this: "Young, hot women looking for over 50 guys that are under 5"8" with symptoms of ADHD!" Sign up today!!"
←Rate | 08-23-2013 07:26 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a motion detector in my bedroom. It never goes off.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 05:35 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow's milk.
←Rate | 08-18-2013 12:08 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 05:39 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of an "are you sure you want to delete?" confirmation notice, there should be a "are you sure you want to post this, you frickin idiot?" notice.
←Rate | 08-05-2013 05:16 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon The president pardoned a turkey yesterday...shouldn't it be the other way around?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 08:13 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Props to Rahm Emanuel for doing the Polar Plunge.....now it's time for him to do the Pothole Plunge
←Rate | 03-05-2014 05:22 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get off the rollercoaster that was 2013, I step into the elevator that is 2014, and press up. Sounds good on paper, anyway....lol
←Rate | 01-01-2014 17:11 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Tis the season in Chicagoland where there is a fine line between illegal lane usage and dodging pot holes.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 17:56 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye's forearms, I'm guessing Olive Oyl just supplied the oil.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 04:35 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is akin to Trojan sponsoring Vatican events.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 06:06 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon OJ has been granted parole. He should put on a hoodie and go buy some Skittles in George Zimmerman's neighborhood.
←Rate | 08-02-2013 05:47 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: The pilot of the missing Malaysian plane was known to go by the name Waldo.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 07:36 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon A thief broke into my house last night searching for ‘Money’ …. I joined him in the search.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 09:44 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is becoming clear to me that the North beat the South in the Civil War by shooting fake snow at them out of cannons.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 05:14 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new girlfriend takes my breath away...she's insatiable and inflatable....then, sadly, I poked her.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 06:39 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Million dollar idea: Nothing's better than the smell of a new born baby. Now if we could figure out how to bottle that in a mans cologne. Hear that sound? That's the sound of bra's snapping all over.
←Rate | 08-04-2014 05:23 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon the motion detector in my bedroom is turned on and it never goes off.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 17:33 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking this Super Bowl will create the biggest buzz of all and more shotguns than ever.
←Rate | 01-22-2014 04:58 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bumped and grinded last night.....my head on bed post and my teeth
←Rate | 03-29-2014 09:53 by Bob B Comments (0)  


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