Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There are only two things I want out of life! 1. Lose Weight 2. Eat!
←Rate | 07-20-2012 07:32 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Neighbor mows his lawn every Sunday morning at 7:00am sharp! So tonight I'm listing his mower for sale on Craigslist at 11:00pm for only $5.00. That should keep his phone ringing most of the night!..........(sleeping in tomorrow!)
←Rate | 07-07-2012 09:19 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Archie Buinker & George Jefferson together again......in a much better place!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 16:55 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn't trust with a Glo-Stick Day!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 14:35 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee's, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!!!
←Rate | 07-06-2012 06:54 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be a People Person, but People ruined it for me!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 20:52 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.....
←Rate | 07-26-2012 07:06 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found an old coin and took it to a coin expert to examine it! He said ''This could be worth $5,000,000.00!'' After catching my breath I gasped ''Really?"' he tossed it back to me and said ''Yeah, if you use it to scratch off a winning lottery ticket!!!'
←Rate | 07-22-2012 11:20 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thankyou for calling Comcast America's #1 Cable Co. My name is Habib Akmed Musaffa Akmed Habib, How may I mis-understand you today?!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 14:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suggest we Drink!..... Before we go out Drinking!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 15:59 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may appear like I'm doing nothing, but i'm actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
←Rate | 07-21-2012 18:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I only exist when you need something!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 13:06 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
←Rate | 07-08-2012 09:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me know when you're off your Man-Period!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 08:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (1)  


   messageicon Steven Tyler is quitting American Idol after two seasons! I sure am going to miss that old lady!!!
←Rate | 07-13-2012 06:14 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don't like them!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think about how stupid the average person is,and then realize that half of them are stupider than that!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 11:07 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 08:21 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon A couple who had been together for 25yrs and raised 10 children was asked what the secret to staying together was. The wife replied ''Many years ago we made an agreement that the first one to leave has to take all the children with them!!!''
←Rate | 07-26-2012 08:30 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know as soon as my ''Swear Jar'' gets full, I'm going to use the money to get a Fking Puppy!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 07:51 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  



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