@spunky_design Funny Status Messages

   Last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of LIberty.

   I have 100 tabs open on my internet browser and I can't figure out which one the sound is coming from.

   "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" -- Abraham Lincoln

   I didn't look so great today, but my simple hello with a smile made someone else feel really great.

   When your electronic device is low on batteries, it has enough to remind you every 3 minutes with loud noises and flashy lights.

   When someone enteres the room while you watch porn, make sure not to just minimize your window... also lower the damn volume. Sorry mom...

   Have you ever watched a really funny video, shown it to someone else and you keep saying Just wait, it gets funnier?

   Why am I able to walk for miles with no problem, but as soon as I look for my house keys, I start doing the pee-pee dance?

   Happy Thanks Giving! Today I will stuff myself and eat all that I can, tomorrow I will eat the rest of the left overs and then I am going to quit cold turkey.

   If you let people judge you, then how would you know what is your greatest limit?

   If first you don't succeed, try try a GUN.

   Grrrr, just poured hot coffee on a cup that was upside down.

   You ever had a gut feeling about having an empty stomach?

   I thought of Lady Gaga when I ordered skirt steak.

   My wifes name is KEYBOARD and I tap that every day!

   Save electricity!!! No point of turning the bathroom lights on if you're planning on just sitting there.

   posing patiently with my clothes off for Google Earth to come by and take my picture...

   The Mayan calendar was just a countdown for us to do something Epic.

   A hello to those that may think you are crazy is only a wake-up call to those living on the other side.