@shaunpatrick01 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me
←Rate | 11-14-2011 09:55 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon i just spelled a word so incorrectly that spell check just enrolled me back into school
←Rate | 03-12-2012 10:34 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 14:23 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't fight stupidity with anger, fight it with sarcasm. Much more fun
←Rate | 03-12-2012 10:41 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People just dont get practical jokes any more, prank calls, super glue on the toilet, the electic toaster in the bath... Sigh
←Rate | 03-12-2012 10:35 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People in relationships are so lucky they don't have to worry about what they look like anymore.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 03:39 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just gave my cat a bath, she actually enjoyed it. it wasn't fun for me though, the fur kept sticking to my tongue
←Rate | 11-13-2010 15:47 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (1)  

   messageicon You know the bars are closing when you see drunk girls in high heels walking down the street with the grace of newborn baby giraffes.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 03:36 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say lethal injection causes no pain. How do they know?
←Rate | 03-12-2012 10:35 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently took up mediation, its better than sitting around doing nothing
←Rate | 11-08-2010 23:49 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (2)  

   messageicon The drunk text from a guy you decided not to go home with is like the ankle grab from someone you just shot
←Rate | 09-03-2011 03:38 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was painting the ceiling when my wife comes in and asks if I'm holding the brush tight, I said yes, why? I was told, "I'm taking the ladder!"
←Rate | 01-09-2011 18:54 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why hasn't there been a woman on the moon yet? cause it does not need cleaning yet!
←Rate | 11-08-2010 23:49 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon drugs, sex and music doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk
←Rate | 03-12-2012 10:43 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my daughter asked my wife if I loved her, mommys responses was, "yes dear, daddy loves everyone...he is on prozac"
←Rate | 11-20-2010 01:35 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I was a cave man. I'd be the one who hunts sloths. In my condition, those buggers are fast
←Rate | 03-16-2012 05:31 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  


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