@demiroquai Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon McDonald's is like unprotected sex for your heart... So awesome.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 11:56 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet even Tony Romo's throw pillows end up on the wrong couch.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 02:21 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon If men are from Mars, that would explain why we try to probe everything.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:27 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you use the term YOLO, then you are more than likely using these other popular phrases: “Would you like fries with that?” “Welcome to Walmart.” “Yes Officer. You may search my car under the terms of my probation.”
←Rate | 06-09-2012 12:49 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the show "Get Out," you will see destinations you'll never go to hosted by women who will never sleep with you... in HD.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 15:04 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being Hugh Hefner's ex is as prestigious as being tall enough to get on a carnival ride.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 17:19 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon Confused the Facebook status box with Google search, and I don't have to go to any more family functions.
←Rate | 07-12-2012 12:36 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon The end of every episode of "Man vs. Food" turns into "Man vs. Toilet."
←Rate | 06-28-2011 17:43 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't tell me Occupy Wall Street and the McRib's return are a coincidence.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 19:57 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon Looks like Steve Jobs is on his iCloud.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 20:25 by @Demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon Seriously! How do they train the animals look so sad in those ASPCA commercials? They are convincing.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 12:04 by @DEMIROQUAI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing says Happy Father's Day like waking up next to a stripper and wondering if she actually has a father to celebrate the day.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 11:49 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon The space bar means everything... Its the difference bewteen "She gave me herpies" & "She gave me her pies." One's more delicious
←Rate | 07-21-2011 01:01 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife says "Its uncomfortable going to the new OB. My legs are wide open 3 min after we meet." I said, So do 99% of the girls on Craigslist.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 00:59 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  


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