@TimSWeber Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon There will be no tomorrow. When it gets here, it will be today. I've played this waiting game before.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 00:38 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mythbuster: Homophones were not invented by Alexander Graham Bell's flowery nephew.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 22:40 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scientists confirm diarrhea is hereditary, saying it "runs in your jeans."
←Rate | 04-01-2010 21:58 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Did you say, 'I'd like to meet her?'" Me: No. I said, I'd like to meat her.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 09:15 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).
←Rate | 05-09-2010 18:00 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm scouring the periodic table for the element of surprise. I'm more anxious than the AZ Governor in a Cinco de Mayo parade.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 09:30 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon histogram - n. 1. A greeting card from ones gynocologist. 2. A cracker for a teacher of history.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 09:19 by @TimSWeber Comments (1)  

   messageicon I have a chef and a dentist here. You realize what this means right? We can finally clear up the confusion over the origin of tartar sauce!
←Rate | 07-11-2010 18:39 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever Uncle Eyjafjallajokull would say, "Kids! Pull my finger!" We were smart enough to ignore him. Is there a lesson here Iceland?
←Rate | 04-20-2010 10:18 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  


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