@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I am attracted to those which I cannot have, and I am chased by those which I do not want.!
←Rate | 01-26-2012 20:32 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what's your plan?
←Rate | 01-02-2012 20:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey Guys, I don't have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 21:50 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 22:31 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bi*ch, eating those f*cking crackers like she owns the place!”
←Rate | 11-01-2011 23:10 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon 3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
←Rate | 12-03-2012 22:46 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just another day in paradise, minus the paradise...
←Rate | 12-05-2011 13:03 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you have a problem with me, text me. If you don't have my number than that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 22:39 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is no angry way to say "bubbles"
←Rate | 11-20-2011 16:36 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that" - Life
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:32 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look ugly..:D
←Rate | 01-31-2012 00:02 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good moms let you lick the beaters...great moms turn the mixer off first!!!!
←Rate | 01-22-2012 21:28 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I see your face, there's nothing that I would change. LOL JK, I'd change the direction I'm walking in.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 14:25 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apart.
←Rate | 01-11-2012 12:28 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it!!
←Rate | 01-23-2012 12:12 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Millionaires, if you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you're spending it wrong.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 17:03 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon What I learned from Movies: No matter how fast you run, a psychopath can catch up to you by walking slowly
←Rate | 01-22-2012 20:59 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon That unfortunate moment when you accidentally make a fart sound with your chair... and you spend the next 30 minutes trying to recreate the sound so everyone knows you didn't ACTUALLY fart.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:21 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's scary to think nothing can kill that 0.01% germ.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 00:54 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  

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