@Jimboleem Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 23:21 by @Jimboleem Comments (2)  


   messageicon Guess who has The Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?...... You. *snap snap*
←Rate | 12-12-2010 20:49 by @Jimboleem Comments (1)  


   messageicon My naked girlfriend just fell on the floor as she was climbing into bed. 5 second rule?
←Rate | 12-05-2010 17:45 by @Jimboleem Comments (2)  


   messageicon When the cable goes out, I like to sit down and do some writing. ...Usually a check to the cable company.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:52 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe they've imprisoned Wesley Snipes without first cryogenically preserving Sylvester Stallone
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:31 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have tried it all to get my girl to call out my name in bed, but nothing has worked.My last hope now is to change my name to "Already?".
←Rate | 12-10-2010 11:10 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son, when I was your age, our video game were Big dots eating little dots while being chase by others dots who ran when my dot ate a special dot....
←Rate | 12-07-2010 17:34 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my house, it is customary for you to go back to yours as soon as possible.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 22:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worst sex I ever had? With a girl that punched me in the face every time she climaxed.Wasn't that that bad until I realized she was faking.
←Rate | 12-12-2010 17:08 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate sharing a name with someone famous. I'm always telling people, "No, no! I'm not THAT Batman!"
←Rate | 12-10-2010 19:55 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does it mean when a girl calls you 2 or 3 times every single day? I mean aside from the fact that she works for MasterCard™.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 12:43 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I feel like a complete disaster, I take solace in how much worse off I'd be if I had to manage a vagina.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 23:45 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not drinking falcon blood out of a boar's skull, .....we don't want to see your tribal tattoo.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 19:20 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son, when I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 18:32 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parole officer heard I joined Facebook, so he came by and removed my house arrest ankle bracelet.... Because, really, where am I going?
←Rate | 12-05-2010 17:50 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need to watch "Desperate Housewives". I have Face book !
←Rate | 01-04-2011 14:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon So much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist
←Rate | 12-11-2010 17:23 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is "patience" a virtue? Why can't "hurry the fuck up" be a virtue?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon F*ck your Four Loko. I swallowed my Day-Quil with 5 Hour energy & a latte & now my pet unicorn Steve & I are off to bake cheesecakes.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:37 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  



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