@CarlosdRooster Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon read McDonald's McRib sales are leading the charge for rebuilding the American economy. Sliding in second: toilet paper.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 11:27 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon I found out I don't have testicular cancer. My dentist told me after I woke up. Nice guy, he didn't charge me.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 19:21 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sex is a great way to calm down after a long, stressful day at work. Being a good friend, I'm always available to provide relaxing support.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 00:13 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not into bestiality but sometimes I want to have sex with Sarah Jessica Parker.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 23:31 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know your poop was good if a few minutes after you flush, your toilet burps.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 13:01 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Unbelievable. Rodney King has to die before the world found out he owned a pool.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 16:01 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can sponsor a child for $.79 a day, but it costs me $2.99 a minute to chat with my "special friend"! Sorry poor, starving children. Its a tough economy so daddy needs his sexy talk.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 18:07 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm wearing my Sketcher Shape-ups, or as I affectionately call them: Can't-Get-Laid(s).
←Rate | 12-14-2011 19:23 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oops. Out of milk. Guess who's having disappointment for breakfast...:(
←Rate | 12-14-2011 19:21 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope some brilliant people find a cure for every major disease, because I refuse to walk 5Ks.
←Rate | 06-12-2012 06:04 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't download the new Helen Keller ringtone. The volume on my phone was all the way up and I still missed 7 calls yesterday.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 16:07 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your friends always ask you to take pictures, are they not also implying you're too damn ugly to be in those pictures?
←Rate | 06-01-2012 18:00 by @CarlosdRooster Comments (0)  


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