xiØn Funny Status Messages

   Lance Armstrong admits to cheating. Can you believe the ball of that guy?

   Waiting for Kanye to jump into the ICU and tell Lil Wayne that his death is tragic.... But Tupac had the best rap death of all time.

   I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert.

   Google is my spellchecker.

   Did Ray Lewis kill the lights too?

   NASCAR tickets: $240 Parking: $12 Refreshments: $80 Being in the front row and getting to take home a piece of the car. (imbedded in your spleen): PRICELESS

   Why couldn't it have been Paul Wall? No one wants to see HIS grill.

   Lil Wayne.... Yeah.... Gonna miss ya. Too bad you can't take Bieber with you. Drugs are bad.... Mmmmkay.

   These celebrity deaths happen in threes.... First Lil Wayne.... And we got Obama and Biden flying out of the country on Tuesday..... Cross your fingers guys.

   I guess "Cyber Monday" is NOT what I thought it was. Just got served with 3 restraining orders. :(

   220 Koreans in a plane crash.... No wonder we already have so many photos of the wreckage. (>_<)

   Every Saturday night I go to the same casino, use the same machine, use the same numbers and it spits out loads of cash. You'd think they would call it something cooler than "ATM".

   Every time I see someone post, "Who wants to Facetime me?"...... I giggle a little bit.... Please tell me I'm not the only one.