vybe Funny Status Messages

   Before updating my status l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.

   starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD, & if anyone feels the urge to tidy up, by all means go ahead

   would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

   wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.

   thinking...Am I the only one that finds it ironic that President Obama waited to interrupt network TV on Osama Bin Ladens death right before Donald Trump was about to fire someone on "The Celebrity Apprentice"?

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..

   thinks cell phone companies need to stop pretending it's so great that you can "check Facebook right from your phone." For crying out loud people, this is 2011, I can update Facebook from my toaster!

   wonders if there is a connection beween Jennifer Hudson's Weight loss & Hostess filing Chapter 11

   Tiger finished Yesterday with a 69. There has got to be a joke in there somewhere.

   Flash Mob. My Place....bring Wrapping paper!

   likes it on the floor, next to the bed, so she doesn't forget it it when I kick her out in the morning

   blames everyone for his problems."Except Shaggy, because we all know it wasn't him".

   Oh christ it's Olympic Soccer. If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd take some of my single friends to the bar.

   going around the house and renaming things so they all start with an "i" before Apple does it... such as his iToaster, his iToilet, and his iKids and iWife

   going to go out on a limb here...I think there is a very good possibility Gaddafi just might be the one on hallucinogenic drugs...just sayin!

   got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

   just heard Anderson Cooper announced he's gay. Don't worry ladies, you still have a shot at Lou Dobbs.

   thinking if your relationship Status says "It's complicated". Stop kidding yourself and change it to Single!

   wondering if Chris Brown releases a "greates hits" cd.....will that violate his probation????

   doesn't really understand the big deal about walking a tightrope across Niagara Falls. I've been married for 14 years, try walking that tightrope Wallenda!