silhouette Funny Status Messages

   Thank you everyone who group text me with Merry Christmas. I just woke up to hundreds of "you too" texts from people I don't know....fml

   Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree.

   I shot Big Foot and dumped him in the ocean before I could get any pictures.

   Merry Christmas......now that this is out of the way....I can justify the rest of my day with alcohol and shenanigans.

   Fellas......if she wears bracelettes she's most likely in to handcuffs too. Run like hell.

   did anyone else besides me use a brown marker to draw nipples on the neighborhood girls Barbies when they were kids?

   Am I the only person who will admit to intentionally peeing outside when it is cold just because I think it is neat to watch the steam rise?

   if I hear one more person say "its not that kind of party...put your pants back on"....i'm gonna lose it.