mikem Funny Status Messages

   Due to a government shutdown, no one is "Engineering the electricals."

   believes dinosaurs were made up by the CIA to discourage time travel.

   the font smaller, or am I on acid??

   if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...

   thinking what is this world coming too?... I started to Google "Is it wrong", when Google started to fill in the suggested searches... Ah... well.... disturbing

   *Solution to fix the problems you have with the new Facebook setup* First click the down arrow upper right corner, then click "Account Settings", then go to "security", select "deactivate account", small form to fill out, then confirm. Then go outside.

   some days I wake up all ready to take on the world!! Today is NOT one of those days

   can not believe Google.com banned the word 'gullible' from being entered in the search field!

   After the VMAs people everywhere are saying that Miley Cyrus is the most talentless, disappointing girl in the music industry... I'm sorry, but please don't take that title away from Justin Bieber..

   found out that if you play a Justin Beiber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber...

   My first cup of coffee is enjoyed with silence, thank you for understanding.

   Teaching my kids some nursery rhymes for the first time... Damn you Andrew Dice Clay!

   You will unlikely ever be the oldest person on the planet, but for a brief moment you held the record for the youngest.

   changing my Facebook name to "Nobody", that way I can 'like' a stupid status and it will read "Nobody likes this."

   got kicked out of bowling tonight for spiking the ball after I made a strike.

   I picked up a bad habit of reading text messages, and then verbally responding to them, and then putting my phone away.

   wishes I could search Google for my car keys...

   Grandmother died and in the will she left me the whole farm!! only later did I realized it was on Facebook. Well played Grandmother, well played.

   making Sunday my favorite day since Rebecca Black ruined Fridays.

   so "Diet Pepsi" and "Diet Coke" are now linked to increased weight, diabetes, risk of stroke/heart disease and they ruin your taste buds.... Can we change the name now to just "Gross Tasting Drink"?