joe fool Funny Status Messages

   Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.

   sometimes I feel like a crayon in a box full of markers...

   “... of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36..If God has not even revealed to his own son the date the world will end, I doubt he has revealed it to Harold Camping.

   People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

   Tip for the day: Don't throw manure into the wind.

   no matter how many years go by I still always end up getting banished to the kid table.

   Back in my day, evolution simply meant a more badass Pokemon.

   insecure and naturally picks on those who are weaker than himself to give him some demented sense of self worth.

   I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was thirty, but I wasn't even close. Then I thought maybe by forty, but by forty I had less money than I did when I was thirty.

   Why did some make a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group on facebook??

   also slept with Tiger Woods.

   Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

   What I don't get is how paper beats a rock. It should be changed to Rock, Bomb With A Cuttable Fuse, Scissors.

   I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!

   I plan to only eat aberdeen angus beef for every meal in January. aberdeen angus beef that has been slain by my hands. my BARE hands!

   I never thought I would live to see the day that someone made a 'Piñata Endangerment Awareness' group...

   Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.

   In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just me a fist for punching.

   I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.

   not only is band not a sport, it's just stupid. honestly. I want to watch football not freaks dressed up in some of the gayest costumes ever prance around the field