jgmitts Funny Status Messages

   Great day with family, great food but right now I am egg-zausted!

   I'm sitting here enjoying a delicious protein muffin. Some may say because of the chocolate frosting and sprinkles that it's a cupcake but that's just not true.

   That was delicious corn on the cob. If you could have seen me enjoying it you would have thought I was a corn star.

   I spill things :(

   Oh snap, I just dropped my cocaine in the snow. I'll never find it now.

   Mutton Chops will never go out of style in my eyes.

   If the Easter Bunny leaves you Jelly Beans, don't eat the brown ones.

   Girl scout cookies just came, no time for Facebook!

   I got so much crap to do and I'm sitting around like a dingleberry.

   I just ate the chocolate off of 6 peanut butter eggs and now I have a pile of peanut butter... Yeah boyee!!!!!!!!

   I was making love to Robert Pattinson for seven hours straight until security told me that Madam Tussuads was getting ready to close.

   I swear I have more hair on the left side of my head. That's weird.

   I had excellent grilled chicken for dinner that I'm actually enjoying the taste of my burps.