jacksje4 Funny Status Messages

   I haven't wanted a Twinkie in years.... until I was told I couldn't have them anymore.

   All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental.

   so its valentines day.. does that mean I am suppose to have a heart on?

   All through their lives while raising my kids, I consistently told them that when they grow up they should “do what you love.” I probably should have also mentioned that they should run like hell as soon as they heard the sirens.

   Steel toe boots: Check! Flack jacket: Check! Metal baton: Check! Helmet with face shield: Check! OK....I think I am ready to go to the grocery store now and shop for the Thanksgiving meal. :)

   Paula Broadwell, General Petraeus' biographer, has been hired to write Bill Clinton's biography. Bill can't wait.

   I took the pledge and will not text while I am driving because it is dangerous! I may check my email, update my Facebook status, make calls, and add appointments to my calendar, but I will NEVER text while I drive. ;)

   I have been teased by friends and family that I spend way too much time on Facebook and that I really need to get a life. I am happy to say that I DO have a life outside of Facebook, but unfortunately I have forgotten the password for it.

   A lipbite can be sexy, unless you're bitting your upper lip. Wonder how many people just tried that.

   Snowball Fight! :) o´¯`❄.¸(░)`O.¸¸.¸.o´¯`❄.¸(░)`O.❄。¨¯`*✲ ´*。.❄¨¯`*✲。❄*´*。✲O.¸¸.¸.o´¯`o.¸(░) `O.¸¸.✲.¸.o´¯`¸.o´¯`❄¸(░)`O.¸¸.¸.✲´¯`o.¸(░) `O.¸❄。`O.¸¸.¸.o´¯`❄。¨¯`*�

   I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.

   If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct? A) 25% B) 50% C) 60% D) 25%

   too lazy to inform everyone that I am cleaning my friend list, so feel free to unfriend yourselves.