gay jeffrey Funny Status Messages

   Why does Hollywood believe a self destruct button is a completely logical feature on spaceships?

   "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you're freeing sad, post it on facebook so I can enjoy your misfortune."

   I bet when cab drivers ask Prince where he wants to go he closes his eyes and whispers "1999."

   You had me at "I don't like you that way."

   in an ideal world, olivia wilde is googling for pictures of me naked

   So, my question has five parts. -Annoying person at a Q&A

   Children Ruin Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M.)

   A cool way to second guess your entire life is to go online and read reviews of every movie you think is awesome.

   An Adam Sandler movie marathon is more difficult than a real marathon.

   Everybody Loves Raymond. Nobody Loves You.

   could really use a time machine to send me to the time before I started eating this whole pizza

   'm totally excited to hang out, again, too! Who is this? -Text from a slut

   My favorite reality show is that one with all the fights at restaurants or bars.

   nothing worst then sitting in the waiting room before a checkup with a woman sitting next to you aggressively discussing her cancer, and it's makes you uncomfortable.