dc Funny Status Messages

   It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words.

   Every day above ground is a good day.

   I just found out that all the people who say "You haven't changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)

   if they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food.

   How embarrassing. First day of Chinese New Year, and I just wrote "Dog" on a check instead of "Pig".

   At the end of your life, you should get a rebate for however much time you spent learning cursive.

   I would imagine I'll react with double the glee when Sleepy Joe dies as you clowns feel about Rush.

   When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.

   No you're mom was so last Friday night...

   Some days you tame the tiger. And some days the tiger has you for lunch.

   So far, this is the oldest I've ever been.

   "May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."