cpaman Funny Status Messages

   For those of you that think that Jimmy Kimmel is a champion of women’s rights feel free to watch some “Man Show” reruns

   Perhaps Bieber wouldn't need to vandalize walls with graffiti if the restaurants that he goes to would offer him a coloring menu with crayons

   So how does this work? Do we send our dollar bills to the NFL or do we pay JLo directly?

   Sending troops to Liberia to fight Ebola? Are they going to shoot at it?

   I missed it. How did Sarah Jessica Parker do in yesterday's Kentucky Derby?

   Our business says Merry Christmas!

   After watching for over fifteen minutes, I don't think that RuPaul's Drag Race has anything to do with automobiles

   Relax Jared. You will still be able to get all of the footlongs that you want in prison

   Wouldn't the halftime show have been better if the sharks had frickin' laser beams attached to their heads?

   If I end up getting the Coronavirus, I’d prefer to have it on the beach with a lime

   VOTE FOR PEDRO

   LeBron James just got a new endorsement deal with Midol

   I don't always poop in a bag but when I do I prefer Carnival!

   Oh My God Becky

   Wasn't Al Bundy's toilet also named Ferguson?

   The Weed Bowl is On!

   Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears just signed a "No Super Bowl for seven more years" contract today

   Nice try Sonic but I'm sure that the dude in the commercial isn't really trying to impress the ladies

   This game is making me hungry for Omaha steaks

   Sheldon Cooper has scored more than Ohio State did last night