cicci Funny Status Messages

   There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”

   As an optimist,I don’t think I have a drinking problem. I have a drinking opportunity.

   I wonder if Yoda from Star Wars last name was “Layeehoo”.

   I can’t wait for the day when all the DJ Khaled fans turn 30 years old. Music today absolutely blows and he’s the leader. Just because you can push a button and yell a random phrase like “go n get it” does not make you an artist.

   Unless he releases a men’s fragrance, I think Elon Musk should be ordered to legally change his name.

   I refused to buy my 6 year old nephew a Barbie doll for his birthday because I believe that Barbie dolls give little boys unrealistic expectations. There is no way you could rip a woman’s head off that easily.

   you know you have a drinking problem if the bartender knows your name.....and you've never even been to that bar before.

   Kids Say The Darndest Things: Such as "This Puddin' Pop tastes like roofies"

   My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We'll see about that.

   I can't help but wonder if Bill Cosby's roofies tasted llike a Puddin' Pops.

   Are we really that bored and stupid as a country that the “Tide Pod Challenge “ is even a thing? Wtf

   It's been three days since bono's luggage fell from his private jet and he "still hasn't found what he's looking for" Eh?

   not having to set an alarm is one of the greatest feelings EVER!

   RIP Chewbacca aka Peter Mayhew. I’d like to say a few words if I may. RAAARAWWARARWAAAR.

   I guess you could say it's my own fault for ignoring the words "directed by Tyler Perry"

   Avatar is the highest grossing film of all time. Can someone please explain why we let THAT happen?

   Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a $hit?

   I didn't get a chance to check instagram today....does anyone know if the sun set this evening?

   I really hate conflict........unless you guys like it,in that case I love it.

   Q:Do yo want to know how to tell if you're listening to a Jason Derulo song? A: He will tell you in the first 19 seconds.