Zenith-Nadir Funny Status Messages

   If you're in a restaurant waiting for the waiter, aren't you the waiter?

   This entire gender neutral thing has gone too far. I just saw a commercial on tv for Mama John's.

   Singer Meat Loaf has died. He will be cremated at 375° for 1 hour. His ashes will be mixed with mashed potatoes, gravy and green beans.

   I'm okay with you being stup!d, but when you're both stup!d AND stubborn, then Houston, we have a problem.

   I have a swimmer's body: A whale.

   Vegans have an issue with killing animals, but are a-ok when it comes to abortion.

   Please be careful. You may have Monkeypox and not realize it. You could be a-chimptomatic.

   I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. Then he met a man who had no legs. Then he met a man who had no brain. And that ended right there with Joe Biden.

   I'm so happy college football is back. Where else can one enjoy such blatant one sidedness and win money on the outcome?

   The dating pool nowadays could use a little chlorine.

   I might not be the dumbest guy in the world... (well, as long as he stays alive.)

   When I was young I was poor. But after decades of hard work, I'm no longer young.