Zap Funny Status Messages

   on tv shows whenever someone gets audited, they have a box with all of their receipts. Who has a box? I don't have a box. Should I have a box?

   just got a papercut… we'll just see if I recycle this week… stupid tree

   Do you want to speak to the man in charge or to the woman who knows what's going on?

   apparently there are stupid questions. They're the ones I ask my wife.

   what's the best gym to pretend I go to?

   Seeing a spider is nothing, it becomes a problem when it disappears

   if I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?