Yojimbo Funny Status Messages

   On my tombstone I'm going to pout...preheat oven to 400 degrees...none will get it though.

   Lindsay Lohan...on the next Dog the Bounty Hunter?

   Charlie Sheen wants 10 million for a tell all book.....or a kilo of blow.

   My grandma and your grandma were sitting by the fire, my grandma pushed your grandma right in the fire...that's just how she rolls.

   I thought I saw ZZ Top at Wal-Mart today...turns out it was just 3 women from Kentucky.

   NEW GAMESHOW : I'm more socially functional then a homeschool kid.

   man falls out of a deer stand and dies...and people say...he died doing what he loved to do....which was falling out of trees?

   WOW!!!! Kirk Douglas looks better then Larry King.

   Justin Bieber the only daughter that Mr. & Mrs. Bieber have?

   remember when cops really wanted to PROTECT and SERVE and teachers really wanted to EDUCATE children? I miss the 1800's

   Ophrah needs to hang with Jennifer Hudson

   I miss Gary Coleman, I grew up with him...he just never did.

   Wonder if Ben Affleck and the AFLAC Duck are related?

   A t.v. christian dating site commercial : Hey Christians, want to be in a meaningful relationship? ...whoa whoa whoa...arent they IN a MEANINGFUL relationship...with GOD?

   A school in Kentucky is going to start teaching the Bible in the class room.....yea that's great...but I didn't know anyone in Kentucky knew how to read.

   it just me...or does Muammar Gaddafi looked like Mickey Rourke?

   I just bought the NEW Charlie Sheen viewmaster...it flips all by itself..crickets..crickets..