Vimvanvos Funny Status Messages

   My dad worked on the roadwork?s for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all the signs were there

   I took two stuffed dogs I had onto the Antiques Roadshow..."Ooh," Said the presenter, "This is a very rare breed, do you have any idea what they'd fetch if they were in good condition?"...."Sticks?" I replied.

   Bill the serial flasher was thinking of retiring, but he's decided he's gonna stick it out for another year.

   got sacked from my job as a bingo caller last night. Apparently "A meal for two with a hairy view" is an unacceptable way to describe the number 69...

   found it really hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey, but I've turned myself around, and I guess that's what it's all about....

   Just got this text message, not sure if it's spam:"Congratulations! You have won A £50 of shopping vouchers or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act. To claim your prize, press 1 for the money, 2 for the show..."