TYLER Funny Status Messages

   Happy Cinco De Drinko

   Does this rag smell like Chloroform?

   what you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

   feels used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked the cream out of them.

   sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant staring at a pack of dogs.

   it takes a lot of balls to golf like I do

   leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.

   36 medals for team USA thats 3 dozen reasons we are the best

   You know you are at a 50 shades of grey movie when instead of handing out 3d glasses they hand out condoms

   Just enrolled in college to be divorce lawyer and become a millionaire since gay marriage is now legal

   the world may be falling apart around you, but as long as you're wearing Miley Cyrus merchandise you'll be alright.