Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   I wish my wife would look at me the way Biden looks at the back of Obamas head.

   Time To Get Star Spangled Hammered

   My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…

   I often wonder why there is no step ladder next to the "Ball Washer" at my golf course...

   My liver works harder for two days than I do all week...

   Just got "The Look" from my dog. You know, the "What the hell you doing??? I drink out of there" look...

   Nothing honors our Vetrans more than buying a mattress on sale.

   You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

   Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?

   Most popular words spoken by a Pastor today..."Wow ...I haven't seen you since last Easter "

   Practicing my "Eye Rolling" cause you know... tomorrow's Monday.

   wondering what to do. I used my last Post-It Note and have no idea how to remind myself to get more...

   So glad Facebook has changed the layout again!! - Said no one, ever...

   If You Like Piña Colada's, and getting songs stuck in your head...

   How can you complain for 11 months then be thankful on Facebook for 30 days???

   Insanity doesn't RUN in my family. It just STROLLS around, taking it's sweet time....

   watching the local weather girl and have no idea what it's gonna be like today....

   Saturday... When adding whiskey to your coffee is NOT frowned upon.

   practicing my "I Love It" look when I get another tie from my kids.

   So I'm reading that "twerking" and "selfie" have been added to the dictionary. "Future" and "optimism" have been removed...