Rachael Funny Status Messages

   The trouble with life is there's no background music

   Just Overheard on BlackOps online;Guy 1: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!! Guy 2: I know I Hate my sister!

   A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it

   If I had to choose one person that I really look up to.... It would be myself, for having the strength to get up everyday and overcome myself.... I'm the most self-destructive person alive

   I'm humored that libya produces less than 2 percent of the worlds oil but speculation has put it roughly 30 percent up at the pump in the past weeks. But what do I know

   not a Paraskevidekatriaphobic!!! Happy Friday The 13th everyone!!!

   Wondering if you plugged your nose and your mouth while you sneezed, would it come out of your ears or would your head explode?

   Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

   Due to inclimte weather, all shenanigans are cancelled until further notice

   Has a huge Migraine.... I think this is gods way of saying quit laughing at Hellen Keller Jokes.

   Doesnt matter if the Bengals lose.... Yeah a win would be nice but at least our Quater back isnt a douche. You can constantly improve, you cant fix Douche-Baggery. There I win ;)

   Attention kids in high school: If you're b@#$%ing that Facebook is "becoming myspace".... it's because of you.... please stop b@#$%ing and use facebook for what it was made for... to lurk on other peoples photos

   Why is it so hard to find information without paying for it? but I can google Kevin Bacon, Justin Bieber and that OctoMom for free?!? AH

   "I ain't even trying to wave at you, I've got better things to do with my hands" oh bad girls club you never cease to entertain

   it just me, or is everyones day ruined when you hear that J.G. Wentworth commerical? No matter when, where or even how I hear it, that damn commericals song gets stuck in my head. Damn you J.G. Wentworth and you ability to get my cash now!

   So I re-watched the Ke$ha video after a half a bottle of wine last night, and not even while intoxicated does that sh*t makes sense! I guess you have to get some blow, to get Blow

   oh dear... I seemed to have lost my diet instead of the weight...

   Would just love to punch someone in the Kidneys but apparently society frowns upon that

   I hate when people talk on there phones in public restrooms. Who are you?? Ricky Martin?!?! You ain't that damn important

   Honestly... why have faith in anyone that's not myself?