Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say..

   If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it

   wonders how different the world would be if bad and stupid people came with warning labels

   gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.

   disappointed that 25% of prostitutes use Facebook to solicit clients and not a single one has ever contacted him!

   If you are going to cheat, make sure she isn't wearing glitter.

   once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.

   hates when the microwave decides to heat his plate, but not his food.

   Sex, Food, Sleep, & Poops. General male happiness depends on how good these 4 things are at any given time.

   after all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done.

   I once asked an old man: Which is more important to love or to be loved? He replied: which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?

   I love make up sex. Especially with Katy Perry. I make up sex with her all the time.

   Thank you internet. before you came along, I had to stare out the window to laugh at strangers.

   his own bunny rabbit and will name him George and hug him and pet him and squeeze him

   assumes "don't try this at home" really means do it at a friend's house or when your parents aren't around.

   thinks it is always a good idea to know someone's giving-to-receiving ratio before dating them.

   Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life

   If you don't have anything nice to say, feel free to come sit with me and we can make fun of people together.

   your outfit makes you look like a stripper. A high end stripper for governors and athletes, but a stripper nonetheless.

   knows a relationship is going well when she feels comfortable taking a crap at his place.