Peter Brajkovich Funny Status Messages

   Woke up this morning after a hard night of boozing, stepped on the scale and I lost 3 pounds. There ya have it. Dignity weighs 3 pounds.

   May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.

   I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.

   Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you've lost and then do those things for the ones you still have.

   I call my condoms Peyton Manning. Cause they usually just stay in the pocket.

   That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever