PL Funny Status Messages

   Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

   My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

   People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

   My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

   Business truth: The phone will not ring until you leave your desk and walk to the other end of the building.

   Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.

   A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

   If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger ...