Oldtimer Funny Status Messages

   .. To make sure they will arrive on time, I'm mailing my Christmas cards now.

   Why does sour cream have an expiry date?

   Modern technology now has a camera with a shutter speed so fast, it can capture an image of a woman with her mouth shut.

   Bought some prescribe pills to improve my memory. But I keep forgetting to take them.

   Guys, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be nice and wipe the seat.

   Teacher: "Billy give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat, and detail in it." Bily: "When a horse jumps defence, defeat go first then detail.