Nick Funny Status Messages

   just realized that Superman was an illegal immigrant

   Did anyone ever think that Charlie Brown could have used some counseling? I mean seriously, the kid was bullied, made fun of, and was bald by the time he was ten!

   cant have an openly religious football player in the NFL, that would be bad. it needs more accused murderers, rapists and morons who shoot themselves in the leg.

   I've always wanted to place a personal ad no one would answer: "Elderly, depressed, accident-prone junkie, likes Canadian food and Welsh music, seeking rich, well-built, oversexed, female deaf mute in her late teens. Must be nonsmoker."

   lol @ "If he pauses his game to text you back, marry him".. We never pause it, we're just waiting to respawn.

   So, Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.

   and Premature Ejaculation are now friends...

   Hey, I don't like cocaine... I just like the way it smells.

   God may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding..,.God thinks you suck also.

   What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex makes your hole weak...

   "And the flowers are still standing!"

   Maybe if these Wall Street protesters had put as much effort into making something out of themselves as they do protesting. They would be working on Wall Street.

   What if Tupac is alive and we are all holograms?

   a good driver discount, a good student discount. what about a watching an anoying lizard in a stupid comercial discount?

   I like, likeing the quotes everybody hates:)

   How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face! Duh!

   I'm a cat and when I smoke pot I gain the ability to type for 60 secmeow meow meow.

   Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

   and asks the bartender, "how much for a drink?" A neutrino walks into a bar

   my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, Nick, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something..