Mimi Funny Status Messages

   Even when I'm home alone, I always lock the bathroom door. I've seen Zombieland. I'm not going out like that.

   If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn't invite me over.

   Hey Scientists: Less sheep cloning and More making our world look like The Jetsons. Chop chop beotches!

   You know it's cold outside when you go outside and trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it.

   The Mars Rover sends a signal to Earth from the edge of space and my cell phone cant go under a bridge without dropping a call? Screw you Sprint!

   Beware: Things get pretty messy when you let a Snickers REALLY satisfy you...

   Roses are red, violets are blue, if you piss me off, your balls will be, too.