Lip Rippin Rooster Funny Status Messages

   When I tell you I'm going to shower then head out, be sure to factor in about two hours of me sitting at my computer in a towel.

   I hate it when my foot falls asleep and I have to kick someone in the face to wake it up.

   Maybe I'm just lazy or unimaginative or something, but if I had a time machine I'd probably just go forward to Friday to get this week over with.

   Don’t you hate it when you wake up and...no that’s all...don’t you hate it?