Kobrah Funny Status Messages

   If you watch Scarface backwards, it's about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.

   A friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies.

   If love is a game..where can I buy the multiplayer-version?

   when someone asks you what time it is..glance at your watch and say "it's either 6:15 or mickey has a hard-on." guaranteed they'll ask someone else.

   I wanna find a girl who loves me for my money, but doesnt understand math.

   you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when I thought I was wrong but was actually right.

   Genius - The ability to produce fantastic amounts of equally fantastic bullsh*t that all makes perfect sense

   My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas.

   wants to find a woman but then has a beer and a nap and it makes everything right again

   If I ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have a 'song' together, after I laugh, I shall suggest master p - you can be my b!tch

   i do what I please and I please who I do.

   A woman's work is never done. Which is probably why they don't make as much.

   girls are like square roots. If they're under 15 you just do them in your head

   I don't think I'm better than others, it just so happens that so far, statistically, I am

   So there're these 'don't start forest fires' commercials telling me to get my smokey on. All I can think is "If an anthropomorphic bear in a pair of jeans and one of those ranger hats comes up and tells me not to set stuff on fire, I probably already did

   I'm still looking for a girl that can get aroused by the sound of a hard drive spinning down

   Religious girls are easy, once I convince them I'm god

   Women are like refrigerators; cold on the inside, you always want to put your meat in them, and they all belong in the kitchen.