Keith Albert Funny Status Messages

   I yawn and you assume I quit listening. Truth be told, I was never listening.

   Why is 4/21 National Employer Random Drug Testing Day?

   I know the exact day I gave up following the path of least resistance. It's on my birth certificate.

   I will never go Bungee Jumping. Put all your faith in a piece of Rubber? I got here because of its failure and I don't plan on giving it a chance to take me out!

   The word "Excellent" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his Grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I would call him an "excellent" shot, but I don't think that's what Bill and Ted meant by "Be Excellent to each other!"

   Amy Winehouse joins the Forever 27 Club. When does Lady Gaga turn 27?

   If the first thing you see after you die is a handbasket, check your undershorts for kerosene.