Jergim Funny Status Messages

   Red wine pairs beautifully with procrastination.

   Millennials look at Joe Biden like a rotary phone is running for President.

   I'm really tired of every article about a woman having an opinion being accompanied by the most deranged photo of her they can find.

   None of us really knows anything about Stormy Daniels other than her first pet's name was Stormy & she grew up on Daniels street.

   I want a girl who can drink as many beers as me & who orders a burger & fries for dinner, not salad. Also men: She can't be fat, tho.

   If you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color, they are 100% a cop.

   If your God is totally ok with nuking an entire country but not with 2 guys marrying, you might consider exchanging that God.

   Teenagers hanging out sober act like adults drunk.