Jen Briggs Funny Status Messages

   The secret to a great relationship...Argue Naked!

   "Life is NOT like a box of chocolates, it's more like jar of jalapenos- what you do TODAY can burn your ass TOMORROW!

   So I was at the park flying my kite and this random guy came up to me and said "You flying a kite?" I replied "Nah I'm fishing for birds"

   When you look, you see reflections of your yourself. When you listen, you hear echoes of yourself. If you don't like something about what you see and hear, no point in smashing the mirror, change who you are becoming.

   What is the meanest thing you can do to a person? Take the light bulb out of the bathroom and leave the plunger in the toilet!

   when you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities.

   You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

   It's a new day - a chance to make new friends or piss off a whole new group of people. It could go either way.

   Two wrongs may not make a right, but damn, sometimes it sure puts a smile on my face!

   Don't ever think you're nothing because somewhere along the line, there's going to be someone who thinks you're everything.

   “People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about.”

   I would like an order of ambition, & a side of focus, and a large coffee. And could you super size that please? It really needs to last for the rest of the day.

   Some people were dropped as children..But YOU my friend were clearly thrown at a wall!

   thinks some people wake up and eat a massive bowl of stupid for breakfast everyday!

   friends and condoms have something in common. . . they both protect you when things get hard.

   Everyday I think people can't get any more stupid and pretty much everyday I'm proven horribly wrong!

   "Who needs prostitutes when we have a government who screws us everyday and gets paid for it?"

   Contrary to popular belief, "Damn It" is not God's last name.

   thinking she needs a time out from being a grown-up!

   Today I didn't know what to do- the devil on my shoulder pushed my angel off other shoulder but just a moment ago the angel came back with a baseball bat!