Jason Biaza Funny Status Messages

   I'm trying to get back to my original weight. 7 lbs 9 oz

   I never make the same mistake twice.... I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.

   In a perfect world you would be able to mark people as spam in real life.

   If you don't care where you are then your not lost.

   I never make the same mistake twice.....I make it 5 or 6 times just to be sure.

   I have taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me...send money.

   After everything I've been through.... This can't possibly be "as real as it gets"!

   I will respect any religion you practice as long as you don't knock on my door and tell me about it.

   (beep) (beep) (beep) You have reached a status that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. I you feel this message is an error, please log off and try your comment again. Thank You.

   They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?

   I f I have am erection that lasts longer than 4 hours, I'm not calling a doctor...I'm calling a film crew!

   Ever notice that "What the Hell" is always the right decision?

   I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part of.

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments or a court date.

   Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

   sorry I'm drunk and I posted the same status twice....oopsy!