JMan Funny Status Messages

   Welcome to Facebook, choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen

   If you can't say anything nice, say something vague on Facebook.

   You can tell you're a real John Wayne kind of man when it doesn't even matter what color bendy straw you use in your chocolate milk.

   Even North Korea has to wait on hold for hours to reach tech support in India

   Dear ex, you remind me of my dirty laundry because I didn't like doing you.

   Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...

   Helpful advice for people: Don't be a douche.

   I hate it when foreign numbers call my cell asking: "Hi, who is this??" ...You're the one that frickin called, why don't you tell me?

   It's pretty sad when someone's idea of "meeting new people" consists of adding everyone in the People You May Know tool....

   This world is full of STDs... Sexually Transmitted DRAMA

   "I apologize for my vauge statuses on Facebook, they were actually about you. Let's handle this like mature human beings instead." - Nobody Ever

   I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit.