JAB Funny Status Messages

   What people need are Café Mocha Marijuana Latte's. . .

   For now on, should United airlines lose a passengers baggage. That passenger has a right to kick a$$ on one of their employees. . .

   Musical Electric Chairs. For death row inmates. Lets make it fun and televise it. . .

   Repaired a vacuum cleaner today. It was easy, I just stuck one of Hillary bumper stickers on it.. Now it sucks just fine. . .

   My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .

   I'm so old, I remember the internet when it had no commercials. . .

   If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .

   I think people can be politically correct all they want. As long as they shut the f#ck up about it. . .

   You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk. . .

   To all the horny female teachers out there. There are grown men who will gladly let you sexually abuse them. . .

   Let me be the first to say, I don't give a fly monkey kcuf the Kardashians are back. . .

   U - Haul is looking for drivers to bring back vehicles from Canada. . .

   If you think about it, to come clean is not an option. . .

   I am all for the death penalty, but I think we should make it interesting and fun. Make it a game and play musical electric chairs. When the music goes off one chair gets a nice charge. . .

   The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can't have ice cream for breakfast. . .

   Who needs help moving to Canada because Trump won, call me. . .

   And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . .

   What's the shelf life of an Elf on a shelf ?

   Since when did everything I was taught growing up that was wrong to do suddenly became Ok. . .

   I am claiming everything ever written by Author Unknown !