IARU Funny Status Messages

   I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them we know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices.

   Then: Teenage girls kept a private diary and got upset if anyone read it. Now: They reveal everything on Facebook and get upset if no one reads it.

   I can't wait for the next Women's March. Off a cliff...

   It rained here in Arizona today, but it was a dry rain.😛

   The MSM claims national polls have Biden ahead by 14 points. By "national", they mean New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and cemeteries.

   Coronavirus Deaths: 216,000 Medical Malpractice Deaths: 400,000 You're safer getting Covid than going to the doctor.

   I'm hard at work writing song lyrics which center around my offering a ride to those asking to be taken to Funkytown.

   Those who want the minimum wage set to $15 an hour; calling it a living wage are clueless. How about a living education? If you're 30 and making fries for a living, don't expect me to subsidize your poor life choices.

   As a man, never watch your woman struggle to pay bills ... dump her and find one that has some money.

   My car's GPS allows you to change voices. I tried the one featuring Karen Carpenter. When I try to calculate my arrival time, the only answer she gives is, "We've only just begun."

   Just when I'm happy to be alive, The Connors comes on.

   I'm watching a little known show on Netflix called Tearjerker. It's about a guy who cries while he m@sturbates.

   Just when I'm feeling proud to be an American, The Connors comes on.

   "Alloweth me, I shan't be damned To probe around your lovely clam." - Spongebob Shakespeare

   Ok, I'm a Boomer. But not a Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup with cubed white meat chicken casserole Boomer.

   Coronavirus Problem #137: How does one receive oral gratification when the other participant is wearing a mask?