Gr`april Funny Status Messages

   This whole time you've been worried about dying from unhealthy burgers, but now you find out that drinking water with a McDonalds Shrek glass is what's going to kill you. Go figure

   Mark Zuckerberg really controls all of our lives, at any moment he could decide to take Facebook offline.

   Wait, you're telling me that if I kill off and entire culture and take credit for discovering a land I in no way discovered,I'll get a random Monday in October off from work? Only in America!..... Happy Columbus day!!

   When asked what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, "Ours."

   As our lady of Disco, the divine Miss Gloria Gaynor has always sung to us: I will survive!!!