Canadian25 Funny Status Messages

   When a girl is in love, she offers sex. when a guy wants sex, he offers love.

   Privacy is very important to me. That is why I only share sensitive information with my closest 480 friends on Facebook.

   My wife said, "You always blame everyone else when things go wrong" I said.."And whose fault is that?"

   Girls don't be proud if every guy wants you... Cheap items have many buyers

   Governments that try to control the internet are SOPAthetic

   Science Question: How do stars die? Drugs normally

   I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster.

   Girls: just remember each morning when you put on makeup- somewhere in the world a clown is starting his day doing exactly the same thing.

   Subway: Where women make sandwiches for men without complaining.

   I'm having a problem with sexual harassment at work. There isn't any.

   Never hold your head high with pride or ego. Even the winner of a Gold Medal gets his medal only when he puts his head down.

   You and your rumors have two things in common: you're both fake and you both get around.

   A wise man among the ignorant is like a beautiful girl in the company of blind men

   Nudists need to be exposed for what they are.

   If there are 3 Apples on the Table and Jamal takes 2 Apples. What colour is Jamal?

   Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they both eat out

   Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

   Big Girls don't cry...(They eat)

   If you are not Happy being Single, You will never be Happy in a relationship.

   You can meet 10 girls, mess with 9, talk to 8, laugh with 7, run behind 6, like 5, go out with 4, get used to 3, care about 2, but only love 1.