BobbyT Funny Status Messages

   The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.

   I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.

   If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.....

   Rest areas are weird.... The guy in the stall next to me has four feet.

   An apple a day is bull crap.... Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.

   Every time I get a kiss, I end up smelling like pepper spray....

   If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.

   Subway is being sued for lying about length?!?!?.... Time for me to find a good attorney!

   Just sold a lawnmower on Craigslist...last time my neighbor will wake me up on a Saturday morning!

   Taking viagra for my sunburn.... Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!

   Axe came out with 2 new body sprays. I'm having a hard time deciding between "My mom is picking me up at 8:30" and "Can I touch your bra"

   Tried on the new Magnum condom today....The Damn thing looked like a tube sock hanging off a door knob!

   LOL! My neighbor swears she was anally probed by an alien last night...... BTW, Anyone want a slightly used alien costume?

   Dear men, Life without women...... Would literally be a pain in the a$$!