Ballysboots Funny Status Messages

   I couldn't believe it when my wife announced she was leaving me for being too lazy. Especially after I'd spent all morning taking the Christmas decorations down.....

   The phonetic alphabet for BJ is "Bravo Juliette." Which is exactly what I say to my girlfriend after a blow job....

   Apparently Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together" said Fabrice.....

   I've just had sex the Manchester City way....I stayed on top for ages and still came second.....

   Breaking news: Gary Glitter has applied for the England manager's job after hearing that two of the players are Young and Bent.....