BAD GUY Funny Status Messages

   GUY: give me 3 packs of condoms please. CASHIER: do you need a paper bag with that sir? Guy: nah she is not that ugly.

   I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.

   Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.

   Some people have this amazing ability in life, the ability to still care for people they shouldn't give a damn about, people they have every right to hate because of all the sh*t they have put them through. I am not one of those people!

   Air freshener: Because there's no louder way of telling the whole house you've just took a dump.

   Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.

   BOY: Hey you must be tired... GIRL: Let me guess, coz I was running through your mind all day? BOY: Hell No! From jumping to conclusions, b*tch

   Don't confuse Facebook with your diary. We really don't need to know some of your personal sh*t.

   I took a dump on a pigeons nest today. Revenge has never been this sweet.

   During sex, do you think midgets do it puppystyle?

   There's a limited amount of people whose feelings I care for. The rest of you all can go to a therapist for that.

   A man should never talk on the phone with another guy while lying on his stomach with his legs in the air.

   What did the left pu$$y lip say to the other? We used to be so tight until we let some d*ck come between us.

   The sad part about this whole Casey Anthony ordeal is that she will probably have her own TV show.. and write a book that half of the americans will buy... its sad.

   Why do women do such silly things sometimes, like trying to turn a one night stand into an engagement?

   You know its time to move on when you start falling asleep during sex.

   Some people are as useless as a "Sign in" button for Myspace.

   If I cared, I'd draw you a map of your a$$ with an X marking the spot where your head is buried.

   I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today ... that b*tch was seeing someone else.

   There is nothing wrong with saying no every once in awhile. It may piss a few people off but at least you will have some piece of mind!