Ance Larmstrong Funny Status Messages

   People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.

   It is so cold, when I came to work this morning I saw a hitchiker holding up a photograph of his thumb.

   When asked if she was lip-synching or not at the presidential inauguration, Beyonce replied "I would blame it on the rain, but unfortunately it wasn't raining just really cold, and girl you know it's true."

   Apparently rumors were going around that the Hip Hop reggae artist known as "Shaggy" had died due to a stabbing in a bar last week. Mr. Boombastic reassured all of his fans by saying "It Wasn't Me"

   never make presumptions about who will get chicken pox...I don't like to blemish my reputation by making rash predictions