Aaron the Great lemonpillow Funny Status Messages

   My definition of a perfect storm is one that keeps the relatives from coming to visit

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures

   Mystery: why black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars.

   your crush ignoring your text messages? They're playing hard to get, start showing up at their Facebook check-in locations.