AC Funny Status Messages

   When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."

   I just love waking up in the middle of the night to realize I still have time to sleep before work

   The ultimate feeling of opening a jar that everyone else struggled with......Ohhh Yeeaaaa!!

   I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

   When a girl tells you you're not getting any, before you ask, before you even try, you're getting some

   You know what sucks? Having a dream so realistic you have to think hard if it really happened or not. o_O

   I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up.

   Being with the wrong people is like wearing shoes that are too tight. It's so hard to fit in, and it hurts like hell in the end.

   Some people are still alive today only because it's against the law to kill them

   Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.

   Distance never separates two hearts that really care

   Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say "I don't know, lets yahoo it"....Sincerely Google

   Trying to forget someone who once beat the crap out of you is like trying to remember someone you never met

   Girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected

   Buy condoms or play with yourself ! World Aids Day 2010

   Irene knocked out my power and I suppose it wasnt the best idea to eat all of the food in my fridge before it goes bad. I just had some warm apple juice and icecream soup and now I am pregnant with a vicious food baby. I predict birth in about 20mins.